Just saw that SoberJessie is posting again! Love her blog and am excited to see her back.
Today is Day 27.
I knew a month of sobriety would provide me the mental clarity to keep the sober momentum up. My sobriety feeds on itself.
On Wednesday I’ll celebrate 30 days by going to an AA meeting with my new sober friend and picking up a red chip. I still don’t have an official sponsor, but am working with my therapist and reading a lot about recovery and addiction, including The Spirituality of Imperfection, which I cannot recommend enough.
As I said to SoberJessie, I want to spend the entire year sober …. I’m thinking of this effort as my own little Mt. Everest. And the sober blogs are like little bottles of oxygen I take out as I continue making steady uphill progress. I love checking Mrs. D’s blog list. I have many of the blogs saved on my WordPress reader, but I prefer to go to Mrs. D’s site and launch into the blogs from there.
I was listening to Bob Edwards yesterday and he was interviewing John Francis, an environmentalist who went 17 years without speaking or driving/riding in a motorized vehicle. There is so much to John’s story, but for our sober purposes, what struck me was his account of walking though South America when he had an epiphany that his self-imposed rule of no motorized vehicles was something he no longer wanted and that it had become a self-imposed “prison.”
This, of course, is how drinking has become for me: a self-imposed prison.
But it is also how I feel about NOT drinking. Sobriety is a self-imposed rule. A completely personal decision I have made. But instead of living in a prison where I spend each day disappointed in myself and uncertain of who is running my life (me or Wolfie), I live in a reality of gratitude where each day I receive greater and greater clarity of who is running my life.
Me. I’m running my life. And 2015 is my year of figuring out what that means and where it is I am running.
I certainly cannot figure anything out if I spend each day nursing myself back to health, just trying to feel as good as I did the day before. I spent 10 years trying to feel as good as I did yesterday.
Today, I am making forward, steady uphill progress.