Day 15

My best friend in college, Carol, once told me that when faced with a demon – a disease in this case – it was always best to give it a name, really get to know it, and either learn to live with it in a friendly fashion or kill it dead. Naming it, Carol explained, especially naming it something innocuous and vanilla like ‘Sally,’ would make easier to befriend it or kill it.

And so it’s day 15 without Sally, who is known to others as Cocktail, Wine, Beer, Alcohol. But known to me as my best friend for the past 10 years. Sally, the girl who was always there for me, through multiple deployments and nine moves and two babies, until she turned nasty and ugly and mean.

Still. I miss Sally a lot. I hate her a lot. But mostly, right now, 15 days without her and I miss her terribly and am very blue and very angry about not having her.

I’ve been lurking on the sober blogs and reading about addiction for months now. Belle calls her Sally “Wolfie.” Mrs D calls her Sally “fox.” I read a book called “Rational Recovery” and he calls Sally “beast.”

We all know her by a different name.

But I know her as Sally and I know she’s all wrong for me. But what to do without her?

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